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Joke of the Day

"What is common between a gynecologist and Pizza Deliver guy? They both can smell it but cant eat it."

"*looking under hood of car* ""Well there's your problem"" *removes cardboard box with engine drawn on it*"

"Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum."

"I'm like the weatherman and all this snow lately... ...always telling them it's going to be 12 inches but really only giving them 2."

"What do you call a woman on her period? A bloody cunt."

"It was nice of Apple to invent a mirror I can send emails with."

"My wife asked if I was coming to our daughter's dance recital... I was, but I paused the video, pulled up my pants, and denied it."

"Seriously though, why can't you put the punchline in the title? What do you say to piss off a redditor?"

"What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? Pilot"

"If a pilot can't get it up during takeoff Is it called projectile dysfunction?"