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Joke of the Day

"2 guys walk into a bar. The first one says i want h2O and has a drink. Says damn this is good. The second guy says ""bartender, I want some h2O too."" The second guy dies."

"Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he's gonna get to wear it."

"Teacher : What is the most common phrase used in school ? Pupil : I don't know Teacher: Correct !"

"What do you call a blind German? A 'not-see'."

"*stationary for 7 hours* Me: ""Actually, I'm not sure this is one of those driverless cars."""

"Wife: Are you drunk? Me: I know this is a trick question so I'm going with no. Why? W: Because you're naked on the neighbors porch. M:..."

"If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political post; I just want to travel."

"How can you tell if you're Canadian (Italian joke) Go to a cliff and yell ""Mangia"". If your echo says "" cake""...."

"I swallowed a Watch the other day... Now I'm just trying to pass the time."

"Did you hear about the Barcelona football star who got busted for tax evasion? They said his tax returns were Messi."