216756

Joke of the Day

"Spider-Man's Aunt May is now portrayed by Marisa Tomei..... At first they cast Caitlin Jenner....but they decided *Aunt-Man* was too easily confused with *Ant-Man*"

"Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be YOUR blood."

"Nobody in 1972 would have guessed that in 2014, Bill Cosby and Charles Manson would both be in the news, but Manson more favorably."

"Damn Donald.... Back at it again with the white fans"

"Years ago I used to do a lot of drag racing... ...buy I kept tripping in those high heels"

"What do you call piss from the continent? Ureapean / Urinepean."

"I'll call it a ""smart phone"" the day I yell, ""Where's my freaking phone?!"" and it answers, ""I'm here! Under your jacket!"""

"The buildup of carbon emissions in the atmosphere is a great icebreaker."

"What do you call a cow that had an abortion.... Decalfeinated. Thank you, I'll show myself out now."

"[Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey ""poor choice of words"" Stevens] Joey: ""I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."""