165314
Joke of the Day
" I am under the influence. I am above the influence. I AM THE INFLUENCE."""
Next Joke
"It Only Gets Worse As An Adult, Charlie Brown"
"implant permanent instagram filters on the cornea of my eyes so everything I see looks nostalgic and vintage"
"Have you heard about the fire in the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost"
"Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart."
"What do you call a large predatory bird with poor social skills? Hawkward"
"I went to the doctor's office the other day And he told me, ""you've got to stop masturbating so furiously."" I responded, ""why, doc?"" He angrily responded, ""because, I'm TRYING to examine you."""
"I know it's illegal for me to cook my own alcohol... But still."
"What's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes."
"Ladies. Even the most mundane chore is better in a Princess Leia costume."