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Joke of the Day

"Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart."

"People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world."

"After I have sex, I like my women how I like my mailbox outside my house"

"It turns out the only way to get my kids to flush the toilet is for me to be showering when they use it."

"Quick! Does anyone know how I can get red wine off of my date's white cat?!"

"If someone overtakes me when I'm walking, I match their speed so it looks like I've got friends."

"I haven't slept in days I've been sleeping at night."

"Just donated my body to science. I'm your problem now, science. And I could use some pizza and beer."

"So a man asks a rabbi... ""Do you make a lot of money doing circumcisions?"" To which the Rabbi replies: ""Not really, but I get to keep the tips."""

"The iron vein ran out... It was only a minor issue though."