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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor's office the other day And he told me, ""you've got to stop masturbating so furiously."" I responded, ""why, doc?"" He angrily responded, ""because, I'm TRYING to examine you."""

"Every day the cat climbs a six-foot glass-block wall and watches my wife shower. She thinks it's cute. I do it once and I'm creepy."

"Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems."

"How come Greek salad doesn't have any lettuce? Austerity."

"The other guy on this cliff screaming at the sky just threw his wedding ring over which makes me feel less bad about losing my kite."

"what amusement park ride do jews not really care for? the holocuaster"

"They say alcohol kills people. Lets not forget how many people were born because of it."

"Thanks iPhone autocorrect, I'm sure my dad wanted to know that I miss going on our weekend fisting trips."

"The dent ""I noticed you've got a dent on your car?"" ""Yeah."" ""Oh. Did you drink too much last evening?"" ""Yes, I did."" ""I see. So your wife had to drive you home?"" ""Exactly."""

"What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist. They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure."