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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a large predatory bird with poor social skills? Hawkward"

"What kind of shampoo do people with Down Syndrome use? Tresemme 21"

"I jumped into the pool with my iPhone.... It's syncing now"

"Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said ""May I please have a cigarette?"". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite."

"""Hey! Guess what just popped in my head?!?"" -- My dying words if I had an aneurysm"

"Daniel Day-Lewis sent over 20 million emails to prepare for his role as LinkedIn"

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? Depends how hard you throw them."

"A pencil stands face to face against his nemesis, Paper. Will our hero find the strength he needs to overcome his greatest foe?! 2B continued..."

"How is masturbation and brain damage similar? A few strokes and there's no going back."

"Damn girl, are you an alarm clock? Because you were a good idea last night, but now I just want you to shut the fuck up."