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Joke of the Day

"Biden: can i put whoopee cushions under all the chairs before he gets here Obama: joe im on the phone Biden:*muttering* u didnt say not to"

"Sorting out Problems Remember, whenever you have a problem with someone, use hydrochloric acid. It's always a solution."

"A new ISIS cell has been discovered in Italy They will be called Italian ices"

"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"

"A Dad's Advice A dad is giving his son some advice one day. The dad says, ""Son, don't masturbate too much or you'll go blind."" The son replies, ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"How do you practice eating out a black woman? Steel wool and mayonnaise"

"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"Sex on the golf course: Is that considered a ""hole-in-one?"""

"*sees a car with a ""how am i driving"" bumper sticker* *calls the phone number* ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel"

"I went to go high five a shirt in my closet... ...but I left it hanging."