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Joke of the Day

"Sorting out Problems Remember, whenever you have a problem with someone, use hydrochloric acid. It's always a solution."

"My son asked me what humble means. I told him it means pretending you're not better than everybody else."

"Why don't Arab women need Insurance? Because they are already covered."

"What do you call a pregnant cow, just after giving birth DeCALFeinated"

"I like to hide condom wrappers in my married friends pockets."

"Why don't sea-gulls fly over bays? Because then they would be bay-gulls."

"How do you make a Welshman fall asleep? Ask him how much sex he's had in his lifetime."

"What do you call 4 lepers in a jacuzzi? Stew"

"Apples greatest success is convincing the world they need a new phone, to replace the one you aren't making phone calls on, every year."

"I wish I had a more acidic wit Unfortunately mine's very basic."