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Joke of the Day

"I went to go high five a shirt in my closet... ...but I left it hanging."

"If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office."

"Whats the difference between an onion and a hooker? *Dead pan face*, I don't cry when I cut up hookers."

"What did Tupac say when his best friend died? No Biggie."

"I never thought I'd buy into Feng Shui But oh how the tables have turned."

"HEAR YE, MORTALS. AWAKEN FROM THY SLUMBER. FUCKERY DOTH PLAGUE THE LAND. TIS MINE DUTY TO- *falls off barstool*"

"You should need a license to be that ugly."

"Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds."

"A chicken that gets it's B's and F's mixed up... sure would sound fowl."

"Eomer gets off of his horse and says, ""What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?"" A nearby horseman answers, ""Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"""