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Joke of the Day

"I went to go high five a shirt in my closet... ...but I left it hanging."

"What do you call 1000 aches? A *kilohurtz*."

"I like my coffee like I like my women! I'm sure whatever you've got is fine. I'm pretty happy with anything."

"If you fall, I'll be there. Love, The floor."

"Q: Where do Sith Lords shop? A: At Darth Mall."

"Note to self: When the wife asks ""Do you like my new hair"", don't reply with ""It'll grow back, right?"""

"Why do Asian girls have small breasts? Because their fathers want them to have A's."

"At this point, the only reason I still get The New Yorker is to impress my mailman."

"Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In bark-lays bank !"

"If I had a dollar for every girl that turned me down... They wouldn't turn me down anymore."