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Joke of the Day
"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."
Next Joke
"What fish make the best sandwich? A peanut butter and jellyfish"
"[sees cute girl at the bar] ok it's go time [makes accidental eye contact with her while pumping myself up with some lunges] dammit. abort"
"Her: What's a girl gotta do to get a drink? Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*"
"Why didnt the toilet paper cross the road? because it was stuck in a crack"
"What do you call it when someone admits to caring about how they dress? A confashion."
"Stand Up Comedy! (You add to other people's jokes in the comments) One guy comments about a joke below, and everybody else will add on to the joke or just relate to it in a comical way. Have fun !"
"When I go to the bar I get a Lindsey Lohan. It's a Shirley Temple with a lot of coke"
"I like my whiskey how I like my women... Fifteen years old and mixed up with coke."
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but the bulb has to really want to change."