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Joke of the Day

"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"

"Remember when you blew bubbles as a kid he called to say hello."

"Why doesn't Ganondorf like going on the internet? There are too many Links."

"What to hear a joke? Women's Sports."

"Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."

"What type of rock is this Holmes? It's sedimentary my dear Watson!"

"What did pinnochio's girlfriend say when they were 69'ing? Lie to me"

"Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do about it? Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!"

"I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty... *Breathtaking*"

"What's the fastest way to send a rabbit? Haremail."