164257

Joke of the Day

"Give me a screwdriver Normal thing for a mechanic to say to his lackey. Start of a sexual harrassment case for Britney Spears."

"Recent statistics show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian Roulette."

"What do you call a gay piece of bread? A faguette"

"My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!"

"i went to the doctor and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite."

"(interview for construction job) Foreman: Your resume is just pictures of LEGOs? Me: (proudly) Didn't even have to look at the instructions"

"What do you call somebody who pretends to play on a player piano? A Penis"

"Hi I'm 37 yrs old. According to folklore, I've swallowed 259 spiders, 47 moths, 3 coyotes, and a grizzly bear in my sleep since I was born."

"Getting frisky and my girlfriend told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the head."

"What do you do when you're attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler"