136985

Joke of the Day

"Hi I'm 37 yrs old. According to folklore, I've swallowed 259 spiders, 47 moths, 3 coyotes, and a grizzly bear in my sleep since I was born."

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"Whats an African dad joke? Hi starving! I'm dad!"

"I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers."

"I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"man and his girlfriend Girlfriend : I longer fit in this dress. man: May be dress shrunk after washing it. Oh ,wait a minute , Jim is calling ."

"Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn walk into the UN.. Then proceed to lecture them on bullying."

"I was 17 having dinner w new gf's parents. Pooped. 1st flush didn't take. I got nervous they'd hear a 2nd so I threw the turd out the window"

"Why did the Muslim CEO dislike the cartoon of Muhammad? Because it wasn't prophet maximizing."

"If my girlfriend caught me telling a sexist joke, she'd get really... emotional"