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Joke of the Day

"Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break? So it won't get too Messi."

"They really should have predicted the fall of Communism sooner. After all, there were plenty of red flags."

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the oven."

"Why can't the Maple Leafs have any tea? Because Boston has all the cups!"

"The best advice I can give to Black Friday shoppers is to come early and take a shit by the door so everyone tracks it in."

"If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently."

"You know when you read a page of a book and then realize you didn't absorb any of it? I think I did that with my life."

"Which news outlet has the most interesting Black Lives Matter coverage? BBC"

"Sometimes in the shower I pretend like I'm a bumblebee and just crash into the curtain a few times and die in the water."

"Joke - I asked God I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."