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Joke of the Day

"Joke - I asked God I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself."

"My girlfriend hates it when I surprise her when shes sleeping... OK, so she's not my girlfriend yet..."

"what did the angry German man say when he was asked to count to 10? NEIN!!!"

"What's the Islamist term for acceptable internet humor? Ha-lol."

"What material does Cayde-6 use to repair his armor after falling feet first into hell? Nathan Filaments ( ) X-Post from /r/DestinyTheGame"

"[First date] Me: So, I've been married for 12 years - Him: You're married?? Me: Is that a problem?"

"The man who went to the bar with a gun. A man comes in a bar with a gun in his hands and yells ""Who the hell fucked my wife!?"", a voice at the back says ""you don't have enough bullets, mate!"""

"Black people are human beings."

"What does a guy with a 9"" cock have for breakfast? .. well this morning I had toast...."