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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the oven."

"My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai."

"I thought my watch ran out of battery power... It scared me for a second."

"Ever look out the window of a plane and see a huge target on the roof of a Target? Haven't these people ever watched the History Channel?"

"Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*."

"'You have an important event coming up? OwmeeGod, count me in!' -pimples."

"I quit cold turkey. I just reheat it now."

"Jubilee is a mutant who can shoot sparks from her hands, and spontaneously destroy electronics by touching them... So she's basically like my mom, if my mom could shoot sparks from her hands."

"What do you call an eight-legged insect holding a magnifying glass? A spy, duh."

"What do you call a baby from Dover? Doverkiin."