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Joke of the Day

"You know when you read a page of a book and then realize you didn't absorb any of it? I think I did that with my life."

"What do you call a thin North Korean leader? Skim Jong-Un (guess you could say he eats Skimchi)"

"My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace. After a few hours I finally found the exit."

"What kind of dog is the quietest? A ""shhh""nauzer"

"What do you call two gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald"

"What is the hardest part of watching an orphanage burn down? My dick."

"Pancake day has really crepe'd up on me this year."

"don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy ""the player"" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller ""the game"""

"A chemist and his friend walk into a bar... The chemist asks the bartender for some H2O. His friend is trying to be cool and says ""Hey, I'll have an H20 too"". Then the friend dies."

"Reincarnation I told my wife that in the Hindu religion she could come back as something completely different. She said she wanted to come back as a cow. I told her she wasn't listening."