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Joke of the Day

"Which news outlet has the most interesting Black Lives Matter coverage? BBC"

"Alright, time for a Twitter spelling bee! First word: ""their"", meaning ""belongs to them."" Alright, that only leaves 14 of you left standing."

"[6:00pm] i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight [11:00pm] yay i did it! [11:01pm] *preheats oven*"

"Today in 1775, Jane Austen was born. She wrote ""Sense & Sensibility,"" ""Pride & Prejudice,"" and ""Lust & Lunchables."""

"Don'tcha wish your g/f was fun like me? *plays Twister* Don'tcha wish your g/f was a freak like me? *regurgitates a jellyfish* Don'tcha...?"

"""Dear God, make me a bird, so I can..."" *turns into penguin* ""DAMMIT I WASN'T FINISHED!"""

"What's the difference between a pothead and a gay Muslim? Potheads get stoned by choice."

"Isis has hidden bombs inside alphabet spaghettios. If they go off they could spell disaster."

"Me: How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves? The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence"

"What did Jeffrey Dahlmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Excuse me are you going to eat that? *Ellen Barken on David Letterman show."