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Joke of the Day

"People always give up on me when I show them these words. See if you can get the opposite of each word: Always Staying From Take Me Down"

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"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Power Ranger Barbie ...with karate-chop action; complete with the ridiculous outfit"
"Me: It actually takes light around 8 minutes to travel from the Sun to Earth. Her: Umm light is instant. Everyone knows that. Me: Go home."
"If you can take my girl, then you can have her. If I can take your girl, then you can have her too."
"TIL that 'gullible' has been removed from the latest edition of the Oxford English dictionary... Seriously. I swear."
"If Donald Trump becomes president, and Boris Johnson becomes UK's PM... It'll be like toupees in a pod."
"I should have gone to see the optometrist I can't anymore"
"There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke? They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter"
"A woman was robbed... ...but upon coming home she discovered that nothing was stolen apart from her lightbulbs. She was delighted"
"I secretly bought some new trousers without telling my girlfriend Do you think chinos?"
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