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Joke of the Day

"A woman was robbed... ...but upon coming home she discovered that nothing was stolen apart from her lightbulbs. She was delighted"

"Her: 911, what's your emerge- Me: SOMEONE'S WEARING CROCS! Her: Sir, that's not an em- Me: WITH A FANNY PACK! Her: I'll send an officer."

"I got some good tips on how to spice my roast chicken... I guess you could say it was (_) ( _)>- (_) Sage advice."

"A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is the sweetest thing ever."

"Her: I'm just a vintage soul Me: and a vintage face.. That's how the fight started"

"Why are there no casinos in Africa? There are too many cheetahs."

"Medical fact: If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well!"

"What's it called when a terrorist's wife cheats with an American? Infidel-ity."

"For those with kids who love Frozen..... Knock Knock. Whose there? You. You who? You Who, big summer blowout! (Norwegian accent)"

"What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt? Lacoste intolerant."