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Joke of the Day

"A woman was robbed... ...but upon coming home she discovered that nothing was stolen apart from her lightbulbs. She was delighted"

"What is a great game for unvaccinated children? Marco Polio"

"aw, the tsa confiscated my toothpaste before my flight. looks like i'm brushing my teeth with all these knives and gunpowder instead"

"My doctor told me I had the airport flu. He says it's terminal."

"How do you call a homosexual with a boner? Homo Erectus"

"What is a rock's favorite band? The Rolling Stones."

"That moment when you're driving and tweeting and you look up and notice you're in the Atlantic Ocean."

"The French military suffered a major loss today... Their largest white flag factory burned to the ground."

"Why do women prefer a 77 instead of a 69? (Slightly NSFW) Because they get 8 more."

"I was playing chess with my Australian friend He moved his queen in front of my king and said ""check, mate"". I replied and said, ""you didn't win though?"" Confused he said, ""mate, I know."""