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Joke of the Day

"If Donald Trump becomes president, and Boris Johnson becomes UK's PM... It'll be like toupees in a pod."

"I may not be able to use by the ""N"" word... But at least I can say things like ""Hey Dad"", and ""Thanks for the warning Officer!""."

"China has recently banned puns. In hindsight it might be a punenforcable law."

"The Aluminati's plan... was foiled once again."

"Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper."

"What is the difference? What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail"

"If you're a Mormon, and you have a mom, and you haven't been referring to her exclusively as Mitt Momney...then why the hell are you Mormon?"

"All panties are edible if you're hungry enough."

"[dog walking a human] *walks by a coffeeshop with its door open* HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there"

"If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call."