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Joke of the Day

"TIL that 'gullible' has been removed from the latest edition of the Oxford English dictionary... Seriously. I swear."

"Why women live longer than men? Because shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying bills does."

"You'll have to excuse me. I've just been going through a weird time since birth."

"What does a Muslim redneck wear? A murka"

"I visited Amsterdam this summer, and decided to have sex with a prostitute. It was an overall positive experience. Sadly, it was an HIV positive experience."

"I like to push the ""stop time"" button on the microwave and walk around in slow motion until my wife calls me an idiot."

"Mention me in your will. Just give me a shout out or something."

"How do you outrun a horse, tiger, lion, and elephant that are chasing you. Get your drunk ass off of the merry-go-round."

"I got arrested for playing chess in the street.. I said its because im black isnt it"

"Why are gay people so rude ? Because they're fucking assholes !"