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Joke of the Day
"A man with multiple-personality disorder walked into a bar. No he didn't."
Next Joke
"Me as the astronaut in that Martian movie: ""Day 1 I have enough food to last 459 days"" ""Day 2 I now have enough food to last 170 days"""
"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they pushed two twins together to make a king."
"I almost crashed into the semi in front of me while I was looking at a hot construction worker. That would've been an embarrassing obituary."
"How are dogs and addicts similar? They both have PAWS"
"Canadian territory puns? Yukon be serious! I'm having Nunavut."
"What did the Reddit using CVS cashier say about the man buying condoms after he left... ...this guy fucks."
"Gf: ""You want to know what your problem is?"" Me: *looks at watch* ""Ok, but our dinner reservation is in six hours"""
"Give a man a fish, he eats today. Teach a man to fish, he gets drunk in a boat."
"It's no superpower but I'm pretty good at winding down my car window without moving my arm so it looks like I have power windows."