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Joke of the Day

"I just did yoga. No wait, yogurt."

"I asked my mom one time why I was white and she was black. She said, "" the way I remember the party you're lucky you don't bark."""

"What's one thing that always sticks up for you when you make bad decisions. A boner. Thank you very much."

"Hmmph! I've been trapped at my desk at work plenty of times and no one ever comes to rescue me."

"How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't get up that high!"

"Apparently Stephen Hawking is in hospital after he went on a date last night... She stood him up."

"You hear some creature making noises in the distance. ""Quick! Quick! Quick, quick, quick!"" you hear it exclaim. What kind of beast is it you hear? A duck. ... with hiccups."

"i didnt give that homeless guy money because his beard wasnt up to my standards. clean your act up homeless guy"

"What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside ? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !"

"Why does WalMart have so many handicapped parking spots? Because they want to have some available to customers too!"