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Joke of the Day

"What's one thing that always sticks up for you when you make bad decisions. A boner. Thank you very much."

"Why did the leper crash his car? He left his foot on the accelerator."

"Who is the wealthiest shellfish in the sea? [x-post from r/underwaterjokes] It's Prawnold Trump!"

"Got arrested for playing the guitar. Because I was fingering A minor."

"Three midgets walk into a bar.. sorry I have hit my lowest with this one."

"England was knocked out of the World Cup. It's the most English people wiped out at one time since the last episode of ""Game of Thrones."""

"Reeva Steenkamp deserved to be shot she shouldn't have been using the disabled toilet. Jimmy Carr."

"I don't hate you, but if you we're drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck."

"everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal"

"Saw a bad accident from my hot air balloon so I tried landing to help but just ended up killing everyone even worse"