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Joke of the Day

"This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she's not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!"

"Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard"

"Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read."

"Kanye on the beach, by the water, holding two large conch shells up to either ear. ""That's incredible"", he says ""When did I record this?"""

"I made an animated graphic of the inside of an egg. ThatsTheYolk.gif"

"My brother just found out he can't have children. It's a condition of his early release."

"How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But I don't know how they got in there."

"What is the hardest part of telling a good gay joke? Keeping a straight face"

"If I can pick up your dog with one hand, congratulations you own a cat."

"FARMER: [when the protractor he ordered online finally gets delivered] this isn't what i wanted at all"