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Joke of the Day

"FARMER: [when the protractor he ordered online finally gets delivered] this isn't what i wanted at all"

"Did you know.. Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape?"

"The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana."

"What vegetables do plumbers hate the most? Leeks"

"70% of all university students identify themselves as procrastinators. .. The other 30% haven't gotten round to it yet."

"What do math and mermaids have in common? They both have an alge-bra."

"What rhymes with Jon Snow? He doesn't know. , Sorry for the lame joke, just made it up."

"My dad hasn't uncrossed his arms since I was born."

"Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired? She didn't have control of her pupils"

"There is no solid evidence of global warming... ...it all melted."