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Joke of the Day

"I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney"

"Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK."

"I was wondering when the sun would come up... and then it dawned on me."

"It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up."

"If a honey bee makes honey, what kind of bee makes milk? A boobie!"

"How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum? Two. One to eat it, another to look out for traffic!"

"You know how you have that ONE hoodie that no matter when or what you're eating -- you ALWAYS spill something on it? It's cuz you're a pig."

"My Executive Director said to me ""Well aren't you an eager beaver"" I was like ""Oh my God, Why? What have you heard???"""

"Why was Jesus so ripped? because he did crossfit..."

"My wife is so sweet Every time she goes to a bar alone she gives me her wedding ring so I can think about her all night long."