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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the million dollar Dutch lottery? If you win, you get a dollar a year ... for a million years."

"Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair."

"Why does Game of Thrones always kill off its main characters? For the good of the watch."

"Behind every great man... ...is a very surprised mother-in-law."

"What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut? Menachem Vegan"

"Does life imitate art or does art imitate life? Either way I've lost 1000 dollars playing poker with these dogs"

"A guy walks into a bar.... ...holding a set of jumper cables and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says ""okay, I'll serve you, but don't you start anything!"""

"What do you call a watermelon in California? A melon"

"How do you pump a Republican for information? With a plunger."

"Yesterday I took LSD and I wrestled with a grass snake for three hours. On a side note, our garden hose is completely wrecked."