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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend HATES it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend ( ._.)"

"Dyslexic florists say ""Weddings are for pansies."""

"""Here we are."" I thought we were going to the camoflauge store? This is just an empty field. ""No it's not."" Oh this place is good."

"what is an pirates fav element potassium because pirate doesnt want scurvy. it not argon k?"

"How can you tell if a black man has been using your computer? It won't be there"

"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Ted Cruz are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America."

"I hate spelling errors... You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined."

"I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, ""Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side."" It made me cross."

"Whatever, Usain Bolt. I've been finishing in under 10 seconds for years."

"Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he's happy you waved to him?"