59379

Joke of the Day

"How do you pump a Republican for information? With a plunger."

"I'm in Detroit with $80 in my wallet. Trying to decide if I should treat myself to a nice dinner or buy a house."

"I put JIF Peanut butter in the mousetraps and although I didn't catch any mice I did manage to snag 3 choosy mothers."

"Mickey and Minnie Mouse are going through a divorce. Mickeys lawyer says "" you can't get a divorce because your wife is a little crazy."" To which Mickey replies ""no I said she's Fucking Goofy!"""

"Pansexuals are like teenagers They eat whatever is in front of them"

"What do you call a cow that has had an abortion? Decaffeinated"

"What's a glow worms favourite song ? Wake me up before you glow glow !"

"I was in Ferguson last night and got jumped by 5 black guys! The car started right up, they just said it just needs a new battery. What nice gentlemen i thought to myself."

"I saw two blind people on campus today One of them walks by the same spot every day at 1:20. I've never seen the other one before. I don't think she's seen me either... or ever will."

"Have you seen that sexy taser? She's stunning."