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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar.... ...holding a set of jumper cables and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says ""okay, I'll serve you, but don't you start anything!"""

"I was walking down the street the other day when a man threw some cheddar at me... ... I said ""Well, that's mature!"""

"As my wife gave birth all the doctors yelled, ""Push!"" I was convinced it was a Pull door."

"A Rabbit's foot is considered good luck! A Camel's toe should be considered really good luck!!"

"I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 25 this week. Actually, it's turning 38. It just looks 25."

"Did you hear the news about the CEO of Ford? He was seen with an escort..."

"I was tickling my brothers feet last night... ...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first."

"When you ask a girl, Wanna go to the gym with me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQegAi6d-MM"

"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog"

"How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? ""What kind of answer did you have in mind?"" Two one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget."