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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I took LSD and I wrestled with a grass snake for three hours. On a side note, our garden hose is completely wrecked."

"Can you believe that after all the shit they've been through, they're still together? My Buttcheeks ((_"

"I hear seatbelts save lives! Nope, nevermind, still have cancer."

"From now on, when you see the word ""minimum"", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother."

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain :D"

"What makes light beer and having sex on a canoe essentially the same thing? They are both fucking close to water."

"What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter? The rogue one"

"Why would anybody ask me anything when google exists?"

"I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary... ...What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous."

"How did the telephones get married ? In a double ring ceremony !"