152025

Joke of the Day

"Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted? To get fucked by a third party?"

"""How dare you judge her size..."" ""The woman has had three children!"" ""For lunch?"""

"What do you call a 1 ton toilet? EL-ton John"

"Can you just bear with me for a moment? *grabs salmon out of stream. bites head off. hibernates.*"

"Not to sound like a badass or anything but I completed this puzzle I got in a hour... The box said 2-4 years."

"Maybe ask the judge if your sentence is in dog years or regular years and they'll prob just laugh and let you go you got tweets to write man"

"We all know how Bill cheated on Hillary with Monica Lewinsky. Well, did you hear that Hillary cheated on Bill with somebody named Ben Ghazi?"

"Did you hear about the competition between Volvo and the other Swedish car manufacturer? It's all just a Saab story, really."

"Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end I loved it."

"Just got bit by a black widow... People are fucking crazy."