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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the competition between Volvo and the other Swedish car manufacturer? It's all just a Saab story, really."

"What does a drug addict like to do in their free time? Netflix and pills :D"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur with vertigo? Falloffalottapuss"

"phlegm I used to work in a seafood restaurant where my specialty was clam chowder. I got fired when I got over my cold"

"Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes."

"""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."" ""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."""

"Why aren't there any black people in the Air Force? They're still afraid of hangars."

"""Hey look a flock of cows!"" ""...Herd of cows..."" ""Of course I've heard of cows! There's a whole flock of them over there!"""

"What's long green and smells like pork scratchings? Kermit the frogs finger."

"Can we just hold the power button down on America and see if that fixes anything?"