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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the competition between Volvo and the other Swedish car manufacturer? It's all just a Saab story, really."

"Some homophobic guys are scared that a dude might hit on 'em. If a chick wouldn't hit on you, neither would a dude. Ugliness is universal."

"What do you call it when a black chick shows you her pussy? Nutella Spread"

"Whenever I read the karma sutra, it puts me in an awkward position."

"If Donald Trump was a fruit what would he be? A walnut."

"I should have gone to see the optometrist I can't anymore"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it."

"In a land with no pockets, the man with the fanny pack is king."

"A bunch of toilets were stolen from the police department... They have nothing to go on."

"It's not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby."