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Joke of the Day

"Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end I loved it."

"I'd tell you a great time travel joke... but you didn't like it.."

"Dark jokes are like food. Not everyone gets it."

"I'm more optimistic than most. Some say the glass is half empty, some would say it's half full. I'd say ""Hey, That's a nice glass!"""

"Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls first guys says ""man, I really wish I could do that!"" seconds guy says ""pet him real nice and he'll probably let you"""

"[cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]"

"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"

"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."

"Why did Sarah name her pet Fawn 99 Cents? Because it wasn't big enough to be a Buck."

"What do you get when you cross a baseball with a turkey? A fowl ball!"