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Joke of the Day

"Why did they bury the fireman beneath the hill? because he was DEAD"

"I tried being a barber for a while but I just couldn't cut it. Bonus joke: Had to buy a stepladder the other day, I never knew my real ladder."

"I'd rather be chased by a pack of cannibal Oompa Loompas riding hungry velociraptors than go to your kid's Chuck E. Cheese birthday party."

"Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory? Because she was fed up with the hole business."

"Q: What was Bob the Builder called after he retired? A: Bob."

"Yo girl, are you my appendix? Because I don't really understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"I'm exactly like Rocky in that, I challenge people to fight while I'm slurring my words."

"I just read an article about the damage cigarettes can do to young children. The first thought that occurred to me was ""What the fuck happened to using ashtrays?!"""

"What do you call a dad without jeans? A potato."

"What's the most difficult thing about roller-blading? Telling your parents that you are a faggot!"