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Joke of the Day

"I just read an article about the damage cigarettes can do to young children. The first thought that occurred to me was ""What the fuck happened to using ashtrays?!"""

"What is Trumps favorite movie? Minority Report."

"""My homework ate my dog"" -student in python breeding class"

"I don't believe in ghosts. They're always lying to me."

".@Garfield because of your ""cartoon"" I fed my beloved Mr. Turtle lasagna & coffee for his birthday & he died. I will fuck your soul."

"A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. It's called Nacho Mama."

"Whiteboards. They're remarkable."

"Moist people aren't offended by the occasional typo."

"What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed."

"China has revised its on child per family rule. It will now allow parents to have two children. Chinese parents were so excited, they let their kids have the day off work. Edit: Spelling is hard."