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Joke of the Day

"I just read an article about the damage cigarettes can do to young children. The first thought that occurred to me was ""What the fuck happened to using ashtrays?!"""

"[long ago] A: Ok, so let's mush a tree to pulp and then make flat thingies out of it. B: Great idea. Write that down. A: Where?"

"Knock knock [Fixed] Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? ... hehe"

"A wife gets naked ...and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my sexy body?' Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.'"

"If you tell me having a dog is the same as having a kid then I'm going to assume you yell at your dog to keep his pants on at Wal-Mart."

"I met a girl named ""JKMNO"" today when I mispronounced her name. I asked her proper pronunciation... Her name was ""No L"""

"90 people have swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom."

"A Jewish boy walks up to his dad... A Jewish boy walks up to his dad and says ""hey dad! Can I borrow fifty dollars? His dad says ""forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"Why are gay guy's houses so clean? Because they are so anal!"

"Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order"