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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather be chased by a pack of cannibal Oompa Loompas riding hungry velociraptors than go to your kid's Chuck E. Cheese birthday party."

"They just discovered a lesbian dinosaur and are calling it... Lickalotapus."

"Well, if it doesn't include antidepressants, they shouldn't call it a Happy Meal."

"Why did the fly eat all of the butter? He wanted to become a butterfly!"

"A fish swims into a wall Dam"

"Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid-air I would probably eat it."

"Even if you were eaten, there will still be a two way out."

"I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy. I mean girl."

"I gave my bus seat to a blind man this morning... I lost my job as a bus driver."

"Did you hear about the sister who wrote herself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived she didn't know who it was from."