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Joke of the Day

"Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory? Because she was fed up with the hole business."

"dude *scoffs like 7 times in a row* of course i'm not a virgin... i have lots of *starts readin hand, ink is hella smudged* secular intercom"

"Q: Why is Bill Clinton's economic plan called positively atheist? A: Because it hasn't got a prayer."

"What can't I find on the internet? My keys"

"Why do Jews get circumcised ? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 10% off"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put him in the microwave til his Bill Withers."

"What's the difference between parsley.... and pussy? Nobody eats parsley anymore."

"What is it called when a guy called Justin gets justice? Justinice."

"I have neighbors who are racist. Whenever we play monopoly, instead of using the hat or thimble I just carve a black family out of wood. They move whenever I land on their property."

"So Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after yelling at his kids on a flight. Better send my mum to the electric chair then."