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Joke of the Day
"Watts a homonym?"
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"I told my friend that she was drawing her eyebrows too high She looked surprised"
"Teacher: What's the definition of a Polygamist? Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!"
"HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell"
"HR: You can't urinate outside. Me: Then how will we keep the jellyfish away? HR: Can you take a drug test? Me: Nope, I'm all out of urine"
"When people say ""To be honest..."", it means that up to that point they've been lying."
"How do you cheer up a brand new battery? Remind him that he's full of untapped potential!"
"I heard it's impossible to ban Tank tops in the US... Something about the right to bare arms..."
"Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: what Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: WHAT Evil Queen: on the wall Hand Mirror: oh shit sorry"
"Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread"