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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the man who panicked when his friend started to drown? He didn't know water do..."

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"My urge to sing ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" is just a whim away. A whim away, a whim away"
"What is Hillary Clintons favorite type of footwear? flip-flops"
"I just auditioned for a home makeover show because I'm too lazy to vacuum."
"What is the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls. They're under a buck."
"why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn't press your luck."
"Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken ""Who's the best composer"" the chicken said ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""
"Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they've no pockets to put things in !"
"Indian Chief: What that bottle of vodka for? Me: I got it for my girlfriend. Indian Chief: Good trade."
"""Honey, don't try to feed ice cream to the Christmas tree,"" is a thing I literally just said."
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