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Joke of the Day
"How do you cheer up a brand new battery? Remind him that he's full of untapped potential!"
Next Joke
"I got a 100 on my test! Because it was the answer to problem number 3 and not even the right answer."
"Today I witnessed an amputee being hanged. I tried to save him, but yelled out all the wrong letters. (H/T Demetri Martin)"
"How many chauvinistic male pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark."
"What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity? Dad you're crushing my cigarettes."
"I love Christmas lights! ... they remind me of politicians. They all hang together, half the buggers don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!"
"What do you call a man with a disfigured penis and a woman with a large vagina? Bendidick Cumbersnatch"
"Let's play a game: If you were stranded forever on a desert island and had only one book of Russian literature, how would you kill yourself?"
"My favorite palindromes I've come across are tit and boob."
"What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your NEIGHHHbor Credit: 6y/o nephew"