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Joke of the Day

"""I'd make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem."" ""Um, population control?"" ""Kill all the storks. BOOM!"""

"There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all ""shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."""

"Did you hear about the nutty professor? He pursued a career in *m*acadamia!"

"Highway Driving 101: Left Lane: People in a hurry, People who can drive. Right Lane: Elderly People, Asians, Women, Dogs, Infants."

"Sorry for teaching your kids to yell ""STRANGER DANGER"" whenever you tell them they can't have something LOL"

"What do you call it when you can't decide between a natural birth and the hospital? A midwife crisis."

"How is a NASA Shuttle similar to Sex with Your Mother? ... They both burn on re-entry."

"There was two people in the bus I wasn't the one who farted"

"What game is in Schrodinger's Xbox? Dead or Alive"

"[last supper] Jesus (to Judas): so your facebook status said you were anxious? Anything u wanted to say Judas (sweating): no not really"