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Joke of the Day
"How is a NASA Shuttle similar to Sex with Your Mother? ... They both burn on re-entry."
Next Joke
"""Fruit OR Vegetable?"" *pic of apple* fruit. *pic of carrot* vegetable *pic of Ryan Seacrest on life support* oh geez idk"
"If I were in a musical, I'd get fired in a week. Keep a straight face while someone looks in my eyes & sings to me? Nope. Sorry. Impossible."
"So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night... She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean."
"Did you know that when a pigeon has sex it dies? Well the one that I fucked did"
"I like my coffee like I like my women. In the kitchen."
"Cocaine so white it looks around the room before saying ""nigga"""
"When I see lovers' names carved into a tree I don't think it's sweet, I think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."
"My boss is so nit picky that he's not even a micro manager... ...he's a quantum manager."
"Why do gay people smoke cigarettes? They love butts in their mouth"