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Joke of the Day

"I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]"

"What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living? A bad gambler"

"""Let me ax you something."" - a very generous lumberjack and you're a racist."

"Saw It Of all the saws that I have seen saw, I never saw a saw saw like this saw saws. If you go thru Arkansas and see a saw that can out-saw the saw that I saw saw, I'd like to see that saw saw!"

"I'm gonna call my mom 26 times today to tell her about all the nothing that I'm doing, just to even the score."

"What sex position gives birth to the ugliest children? Ask your parents."

"At the car dealership - Hello, i'm interested in buying an Alfa . - Romeo? - Juliet ?"

"Boss: You can't drink while you're working! Me: Oh, I'm not working."

"What do you call a soldier with long arms? An army soldier"

"My mom wants a new cooking skillet for Christmas. I haven't got the dough, but oh well, we'll see how things pan out."