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Joke of the Day

"[last supper] Jesus (to Judas): so your facebook status said you were anxious? Anything u wanted to say Judas (sweating): no not really"

"I was pleased with the first day of The World Cup, and even more pleased that it didn't turn into ""2 Girls, 1 World Cup"" as I had feared."

"A horse walks into a bar... ...and the bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" And the horse replies, ""I'm finally starting to realize that my alcoholism is tearing my family apart,"""

"Whats the saddest thing about global warming/iceberg melting? Polar bears won't be able to keep their cokes cold."

"My friend asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water... I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat."

"My Irish friend was telling me about his uncle. ""My uncle's a cop, you know,"" he said. ""Oh, really?"" ""No, O'Riley."""

"How many political parties does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, and the other to bask in the light of the old one."

"It's Earth Day... FUCK Uranus!"

"In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word ""blobjob"". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for..."

"What sound does a cheating chicken? Cuck."