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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between three midget mensa members and a female track team? One group is a bunch of cunning runts..."

"centipede: *trips* *but for like, an hour*"

"I feel like I just won the lotto! Because I just paid the IRS a shit ton of tax."

"what does a gay horse eat? HAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Walking around cemeteries looking at headstones is a great way to come up with baby names."

"Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones? He wanted to buy stock options."

"A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a bar and says: ""Hey bartender! I fucked your mum last night!"" The bartender looks up and replies: ""Fuck off dad, I'm working."""

"My friend learned today that his effeminate kid's favourite song comes from Annie. I'm not sure, but if I had to guess, The Son'll Come Out Tomorrow."

"Nickelback walks into a bar...there's no punch line because ruining music isn't funny."

"You know what I like most about people? Their Pets."