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Joke of the Day

"A boring joke I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team? So that Minnesota does not get jealous."

"You god damn morons. All these celebrity nudes were leaked by the Illuminati to distract us from important shit like karate and hoverboards."

"Everyone decides to come into my circumference right AFTER I fart. Always."

"Who really appreciates a good fisting? A sock puppy."

"Why didn't the people in the movie Armageddon just hold up a big sheet of paper when the meteor was coming? Paper beats rock..."

"FREE HOROSCOPE: You look terrible today. Avoid stuff and people. Don't buy a Kindle. Also, brush your teeth more often."

"I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold."

"So a guy gave his friends 10 puns to try and make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did."

"What do Reddit and Duke University have in common? They're both full of blue devs."